So on the eve of the day my two good friends got engaged, and one week away from my own wedding, I had to ask myself something. What is marriage? I mean really? Is it at all necessary? Does it have to happen in your life to make you happy? Some people seem to jump at it the first chance they get. Some people seem to have no plans at all to even consider it. There are the people that can’t seem to keep a girlfriend/boyfriend, yet they claim they want a family. Then there are those people that want it so bad, but they have no idea how to get it. Is it really all that it’s cracked up to be?

In my office there are several different types of people. Some have kids. Some have wives. Some have both. Some have girlfriends and some have finances. They all seem to have their own unique perspective on marriage and whether it is something to avoid or something to jump at. Most of the time it’s the divorced ones that pretty much tell me to run away. The ones with wives seem very satisfied with their lives. And the ones with kids have no regrets at all, but they do seem to lean on the fact that they love their kids when things get rough at home.

It seems to me that marriage in general was created by the society we live in today. (Shit, the Mormons can have multiple wives and they get their own planet when they die.) Marriage is something we made for society to be in control. To create structure and community. Honestly, it seems to be working. Now, I have nothing against the whole concept, I’m just wondering what it is.

It seems like to me that most marriages have plenty of ups and downs throughout their long tenure. So is marriage a rope? Is it those big black cast iron chains tied tight around you? Does it completely cut you off from your old self, only to leave you chained to someone else for the rest of your life, never to be the same again? Is it tied so tight that when those chains get thrown too hard up and down they break? I think, to an extent, marriage does tie you together. But not in a bad way. The key is to leave the chains a little loose, so when you get some momentum on the big roller coaster of Ups and Downs, you don’t break apart. I think it does tie you to someone else for the rest of your existence, but in that, it creates a new being altogether. A new you. A new her. Together.

So I guess that’s what marriage is. Or at least that’s what it is to me. It’s a bond between me and Priscilla forever. It’s not ropes or chains. It’s a promise to always work it out. No matter what.

All this talk about life reminded me of one of my favorite quotes.

“Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a three-piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourselves. Choose your future. Choose life… ”

-Trainspotting